dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
