I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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