she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
