so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
