My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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