toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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