Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Randomize
