I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i barfeds in our rink
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
