sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
