Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
