Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
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