Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i barfeds in our rink
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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