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I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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