Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
