The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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