I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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