Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Porn is love you can see.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
