Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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