i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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