Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
