It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
