Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
