Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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