he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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