Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
