Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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