why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
