Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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