I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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