you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I will pee on everything he values.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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