Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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