idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize