White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
