I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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