So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
