I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Drake has all the answers
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
