I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
