The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
