you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
they're like a gay fantastic four
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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