you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
