you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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