i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
