Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Randomize
