Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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