Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
