Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
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Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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