What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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