yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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