living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Do vagina's smell?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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