WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
