Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
