i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
