omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize