Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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