You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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