Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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