i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize