Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
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talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
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It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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