I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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