Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
