You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
