Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
